What if the world ended today? What is the news was flooded with reports of impending global destruction or some other cataclysmic event? Would you run around screaming and crying? Would you get violent and act on all your base instincts? Would you seek out your loved ones and hold them close? As you sat waiting for the inevitable end and the time ticked away, what would your mind focus on?
My mind wanders to thoughts like these a lot. Call it “mid-life” or “scared-of-what-these-presidential-candidates-have-in-store-for-us” syndrome, but either way, I find myself questioning my life choices and direction.
I’ve found balance, to a degree, by focusing more on writing. It’s an avenue where I can express my thoughts (like on this blog) or create new worlds full of danger and heroes through my fiction. Expressing myself through words and sharing that with others has given me a greater sense of “being” in a way unlike anything else I’ve been doing. I’ve met so many new and wonderful people through the power of words. I feel confident in what I’ve done so far. Maybe my words might live on in some form that a future generation, if anything survives a possible global annihilation, can discover it and be entertained by it. If nothing else maybe they’ll get a good laugh.
That’s one of my constant fears: leaving nothing of consequence behind.
I look at my son as my parting shot to the world. When he’s an adult and out on his own, my hope is that my wife and I raised him to be a productive member of society and he brings something positive to the world. We’re doing our best and maybe one day he’ll cure a disease or create a new product that truly benefits humanity. Or maybe he’ll be the next great artist or novelist. He could possibly be a great family man that in turn raises a child (or children) to become something special to the world. (Though I can wait to be a grandpa. I’m not in any hurry for that!) It took me awhile to realize it, but he is “something of consequence” I’m leaving behind. My legacy, fair or not, lives on in him. What my wife and I do in raising him and the values we instill in him will affect future generations and by doing so, I am leaving something after I’m gone.
I’ve worried a lot in the past year or so (is it a coincidence it happened when I turned 40?) that I’m toiling in this world with nothing to show for it. I don’t want to be a cog in the machine. I don’t want to be one of millions that trudges on through life and before I know it, I’ve wasted it on fruitless pursuits. I don’t want to get to the end and look back on a series of regrets for not doing this or not helping with that. I’m trying to avoid that kind of end to my life. I’m trying to leave something lasting after I’m gone.
When those meteors rain down on us or flames sweep the globe, I want to know I’ve done something special. What about you?
Before you go, I want to update you on a few things. I’ve got a brand new author website up and running. Go check it out at jasonjnugent.com. While there, sign up for my monthly newsletter and receive a code for a FREE copy of my debut fiction collection to download from Smashwords.
I’ve got my first book signing event coming on April 9th at the Book House in St. Louis. I will be with fellow S.U.M. writer Lakesha Mathis. If you’re in the area, please stop by. I love to meet new people and share my work with them.
On May 7th I will be at the St. Louis Indie Book Fair at the St. Louis Library. I’ll have books to sell and will have a chance to do a reading. Come on out and meet me and over 50 other writers at what should be a great event.
And finally, if you’ve not picked up a copy of my debut collection (Almost) Average Anthology, it’s available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, or iBooks for only .99! You can click on the large book cover on this page to buy it from Amazon. Please consider getting a copy of my original fiction and when you do, an honest review is very much appreciated.